My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
