i don't like sucking hair
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
