Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
