To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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