I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
