just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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