And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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