you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
