Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
