we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Lo siento on account of my penis...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
