Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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