I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
