Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
