it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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