When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
