i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
