I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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