i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
