why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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