I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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