Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
