Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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