is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
