No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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