I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
