So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
