My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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