I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
