if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
