Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
