so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
