Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
