Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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