Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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