Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
operation harelip BJ is a go
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
