Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
