i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
