Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
