Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
