Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
