The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
