we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
