i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
