One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
