My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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