Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
