I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
