and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
