He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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