Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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