I'm lost and stupid without you.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
