Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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